Intriguing Insights #006 The heroes without the capes

So given that it was Father’s Day yesterday and dads may be a relatively ignored cohort when it comes to insighting, I decided I would dedicate today’s post to this unsung hero.

I have also taken some inspiration from Dr. Eric Bernes’ Transactional Analysis... you remember the one which talks of types of relationships like parent-child, adult-adult etc. But don’t worry that’s not something you need to know to read the subject matter of this post. As always I have looked at current experiences and examples to bring alive my concepts.

The last three months have seen dads spending more time with their kids than ever before. What I have tried to do is segment the types of fathers, basis their relationships with their kids, especially over this period at home. I have looked at colleagues, other parents from my son’s friend and school circle and reports that I have read, to come to my conclusions.

The first parameter I have used in my segmentation is the nature of the relationships between the father and child. Now since our protagonist may be used to an office set up I have used a language he is familiar with. So at one end of the spectrum I have plotted dads who have a boss-like relationship with their kids and the other end are those who have a more peer to peer relationship where they almost see their child as an equal.

Now the second parameter for segmentation that I have used is that if these relationships are more fun or are instead leading to friction. Plotting these two parameters I have come up with four types of dads. Now just like I felt moms can play any or all of the twelve Jungian Archetypes, I do believe all dads may fall into more than one of these segments from situation to situation.

The controlling dads

The first segment in the top right corner is what one may call the stereotypical traditional dad. While this may represent a more residual code of parenting it is still quite widely prevalent, especially in our culture. Now this dad during the lockdown has been a little difficult to handle as he is now around all the time. So he is quite deeply involved in what his kid is up to from the food the kid eats, the screen time, the fitness regime, the fun time, everything is planned to precision. Now while this may take some load of the mother, and help raise a very disciplined kid, it may well be the cause of some resentment in the long run.

The coach dad

Now this dad too is pretty much the boss in the relationship. But he is the kind of boss, whose team everyone is envious of. He too has a firm eye on the future. But has found a more pleasant and acceptable way to get his kid there. He speaks about experiences and leads by example. He provides choices and aids his child in making the right selection. In the lockdown you will typically see these father-child duos playing board games, building Legos and the like, comparing notes on books, involved in healthy debates on the current situation. Well you would almost mistake him for the comrade dad if it wasn’t for the choice of activities the twosome engaged it.

The comrade dad

Now this pappy is all about having a good time. For the mother in this family it is like raising yet another kid...not very disciplined, can over do anything from binge watching to video games, with junior in tow no doubt. He is much like a mate or pal to his child and can be a lot of fun to have around. This time round while you may see a lot of smiling tots don’t be surprised if you come across a disgruntled mommy.

The crabby dad

Now while this dad also has more of an equal relationship with his kid, what is missing are some filters. He treats his kid as a pal and may land up being rather open about his irritations. About being at home, about too much work, about lack of interesting things to do. This in turn leading to a kid who easily gets bored, frustrated and unable to handle the current situation on hand.

Now while the crabby dad may be best avoided and the coach may seem like the best, no doubt the controlling dad and the comrade dad also have their roles to play. As Gen Z get more online exposure than any other generation before them, sometimes a level of control becomes a necessity. On the other hand the kind of situation we are currently in, may be best handled with an experienced buddy on your side - enter the comrade dad.

It’s no easy job being a dad and more than being any single type of dad, fathers find themselves expertly navigating from one type to another depending on the need of the hour. As marketers we need to see which segment our product is most relevant to and talk to that side of the father. What may be even more important is the changing role of the father. Just as so called manly products are figuring out ways to be of relevance to women as well. Brands which have been built by being mommy’s favourite need to start building a bond with dad deariest as well.